Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Buhtt sex?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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