He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
