The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We are two peas in an std pod
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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