yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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