I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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