you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
