Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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