ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Found your dick twin last night
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
