there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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