so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Well I just put wine in my tea
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
