BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
