We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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