So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
