I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
