I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She's the barista slut.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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