I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize