bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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