my vag is so smooth its legendary
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
