I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
