he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
