Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
