I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
