Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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