who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
