FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Text me some of your sweat
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
