Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
