i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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