I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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