He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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