I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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