let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Drunk is a universal language darling
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
