looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
