I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
