I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
