you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
