I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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