holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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