and i looked up. we had an audience...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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