I'm laying in your front yard are you home
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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