What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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