I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
