I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
