I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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