I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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