In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
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I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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