I have demons in me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
