I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
