Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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