Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
