New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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