Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
