Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
