his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
