Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
