god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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