I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize