I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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