that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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