I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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