toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
operation harelip BJ is a go
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I have tasted many bathrooms
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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