White coat. Heels.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
